The Feelings Pendulum

As we come to the end of Mental Health Awareness Week, I find myself reflecting on how far I have come since giving up alcohol, in terms of managing my own mental health. The main thing to note is that I actually have awareness now. I am aware that I use a lot of energy reserves daily and that energy has to be recharged, before it burns out. I listen to that voice now as it is no longer drowned out by alcohol or a hangover. I am aware that if you consume good, healthy things, you are likely to feel good and healthy. If you take time for yourself, whether that's to meditate, stretch your body, walk in nature, dance around the living room, smile and laugh out loud with friends, journal or read a book your body and mind will thank you for it, over and over again. Instead of a cycle of sabotage, abuse and the dreaded anxiety, you will want to do more and more of the good stuff and you will naturally feel more content for it.

“You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection”

— Buddah

The last month has been crazy and from an emotional perspective I have felt like a human pendulum. One day it feels like I have it all figured out and full of positivity and the joys of spring (like something out of a Disney film) and the next day it feels like I am lost and I can't find my way through the woods (think more Blair Witch Project). I know that I’m not alone in feeling this way, because my social media feed tells me that others have also felt the pendulum (e)motion sickness recently. There have been days which have felt hard work, feeling tired and heavy and emotional for no apparent reason. But then there is a reason isn’t there? We have to remind ourselves that these are not normal times that we find ourselves in.We haven't hugged our friends and family for months now and I for one miss social interaction, dining, dancing and celebrating with our loved ones. We haven't seen our colleagues apart from through a screen and we can't help but feel that disconnect. Screen fatigue and the unknown has taken its toll.

Here are some of the things that I’ve been up to, in order to feed my soul with the good stuff when I haven't been feeling so hot…

Transendental Meditation

I learnt this technique a few years ago now, but had fallen out of the routine. I have come back round to it again now and have noticed the benefits after just a couple of weeks. You commit 20 minutes in the morning and 20 minutes in the evening to your mantra (it sounds like a lot, but think about it, how long do you spent scrolling mindlessly through your social media feeds or watching the telly). Some days I really feel the transcend, like travelling through a liquid lava lamp (I know right, totally radical) and other times I can't let go and thoughts distract me for 20 minutes. Benefits include a sounder sleep, calmness, creativity, clarity and a feeling of peace. I feel like I have been plugged in to a source of energy when I come out the other side. For anyone interested in finding out more >>

Isolation Creations

I have continued my isolation creations and am really enjoying being more creative in my free time. I find this very therapeutic and I love the feeling of gifting someone with something special that I have spent time, love and energy on creating for them.

Nature's calling

I've spent more time out in nature, mainly because I can be more flexible with my time. Cycling, walking and now...paddle boarding! When you are out in nature, there is a natural high and you can find yourself having 'a moment' which can be incredibly moving. Hark at me - never would I ever have thought that I would be talking in this way in a million years. I sometimes don’t recognise myself in the mirror, I would have rolled my eyes in the past as people talked about their active, healthy lifestyles, but now I get it. I have a long way to go still and there are so many things that I want to try, but I feel a new lease of life and it’s exciting. I have just invested in a paddle board from my friends at Mad Hatter - I am LOVING floating around in the water, watching the sun bounce off the surface and gently working out my body at the same time! I have definitely found something that I want to do with friends, so if you are in Jersey, keep an eye out for a Sober SUP Session near you this summer. I'll make sure that we can safely socially distance out on the water, whilst catching up and most importantly having fun!

Social Dis-dancing

There are some benefits to living with a DJ. The main one being, that you can create your own Desk Disco. We converted Steve's office into our very own boiler room, live streaming and sharing our party for two with friends over Facebook. It felt good to put our glad rags on and to have a laugh together, doing something different. I danced and he DJ'd. The perfect partnership. Lock down really has highlighted to a lot of people who and what is important to them. Next time you are feeling a bit stressed, I highly recommend a little dance, put on some of your favourite mood enhancing music and move your body with no judgement (it doesn’t have to look good, just dance like no one is watching) any stress and blocked energy will have the opportunity to release. You will feel better for it, trust me.

Please know that if you ever need a friend, then I am here. Send me an email or connect with me on social media (links on site footer).

I have been in the dark with the lights turned off and know how it feels to be on that wheel repeating the same behaviour over and over again but hoping for a different outcome. You have to want to make a positive change if you feel in a rut and to help yourself before anyone else can lead you to the light.

I want to create a community of likeminded people who feed each others souls with the good stuff. I’ve been a bit quiet lately, getting my head around ‘the new normal’ but I am ready to give this the time and energy that it deserves. I know that there are a lot of people struggling at the moment and that people need support more than ever. I know that ‘Sober Sessions’ will be something amazing, offering real connections and fun times without the alcohol. I also know that I am the person to make this happen (with a little help from my friends).

Love & Light x

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