Getting in the mood

Do you rely on alcohol to put yourself 'in the mood' when going out?

Even if you are not feeling it, you know that you can get in the zone and ready to party once you've had a couple of drinks and any inhibitions you might have had or worries melt away. Most reading this will agree, but some, myself included, know that it didn't stop there. You start the night with good intentions; however, once the drinking starts, you lose control. The mindless, greedy part would take over, leading to behaviour that you're not proud of, whether minesweeping drinks, falling over, being a liability, being sick, or even blacking out.

When you start going out sober, it's challenging. It can be hard to get in the mood to go out. The inner critic is louder than ever, shouting at you that you are not fun anymore, you feel that people are looking at you and they think your dance moves are terrible - any insecurities that you have are highlighted and heightened. I'm here to tell you; no one cares about your dancing. People are too wrapped up in their own lives and dance moves to notice (or are too drunk to see!)

Here are some of my hints and tips to help get you to get in the mood before a night out alcohol-free.

Play your favourite music before going out and in the car on the way there. Maybe even warm up with some dance moves (careful whilst driving!). Music is a fantastic tool to shift your energy.

Breathwork is powerful. I am a fan of Breath of Fire, which involves passive inhales and active exhales - it's like having a shot of coffee! There are lots of videos and info online if you want to find out more.

Choose an outfit that makes you feel fabulous. I love the opposite of sober dressing, opting for loud, bright, sparkly clothes or things with the WOW factor. From a practical perspective, think ahead; wear or pack comfortable shoes, and unless your feet are used to heals, do not put your feet through the torture if you are going to be on them all night. Pack a coat or something warm, as you will feel the cold when you can't rely on the alcohol beer jacket to warm you up! An outfit has the power to lift your spirit, so wear something you feel good in that sparks joy.

Make sure that you have alcohol-free drinks available and don't cave under peer pressure. Pack a bottle of something to take with you or call ahead to see if the restaurant you are going to has alcohol-free options. If somewhere doesn't, it is not unreasonable to ask if you can bring your own or ask if they can accommodate.

Play it forward to the next day. Having something that you are looking forward to gives you a focus. You can spend the evening passionately talking about what you will be doing on your Sunday, which will provide you with a boost. You are choosing not to drink so that you can do something you love the next day.

Knowing that you can go home whenever you want is a sure way to lift your mood. There is nothing worse than waiting for a taxi to pick you up when the event ended a long time ago! Leaving whilst you are still having fun is liberating and empowering. Jumping in your warm car and being able to drive home safely is such a great feeling. When you get home at the end of the night, it feels incredible to look the same as you did when you left the house and to be home with all of your belongings.

Turn the nerves into excitement. Being intentional about how you want to feel before going out can help. If you spend time focussing on what a terrible night you will have and how boring you will be, then the chances are you will feel this way, and it will show. Remind yourself you are not missing out; you are gaining so much through staying sober in connection, experience and memories. You also do not need to worry about the impending beer fear or a hangover. Shift your perspective and mindset and be proud of taking a break or being sober and making a positive lifestyle choice.

If a night feels like hard work, then it might be time to ask why you bother. If more often than not, after you stop drinking, you find yourself not enjoying the evening, then that poses questions about whether the people you spend your time with are the right people for you. The day will come when you know that drinking alcohol would spoil the night for you, not the other way.