Resolutions vs Revolutions
Did you start the new year by making the resolution to drink less?
If so, I hear you. I've been there before. December was probably over-indulgent (heck, 2021 might have been), and you knew something had to change; after all, you can't keep doing the same thing and expecting a different outcome.
January always brings the opportunity to start again. It feels like everyone is detoxing and wiping the slate clean, so there is no added judgment and societal pressure to navigate.
Perhaps you completed Dry January as the kick start to the 'new, improved' version of yourself?
If you got to the end of the month, you might be feeling great after abstaining from alcohol - starting to feel the benefits. Your skin is glowing, and the aches and pains have subsided, the brain fog has lifted with clarity replacing it, you're sleeping better, you have a zest for life and fewer mood swings - all in all, you feel happier. You have managed to silence the wine witch and replaced toxic habits with new healthier ones that serve you.
The month has ended now, though, and the pressure to go back to 'normal' is there again. You may have started romanticising your relationship with alcohol, thinking it will be different this time. Looking forward to a glass of red with your meal and then calling it a night, just like your friend or partner can.
The sobering truth is that if you are someone who can't moderate and you know this deep down, you will probably find yourself in this place again and again. It's a vicious cycle and, quite frankly, exhausting.
But who defines normal? Why can't you leave what no longer serves you and move forward with this more positive lifestyle that you have started to develop for yourself? Why don't we rewrite the narrative and change the story's ending to one where you feel happier as a result?
It may feel too scary to make a longer-term commitment, but this is where swapping the word resolution to revolution comes in. Rather than resolving and working hard not to do something and focusing on what you are missing out on, why not change your mindset and choose what serves you best every morning and what you are gaining.
If you know that you need to stop drinking to become the best version of yourself, it has to start with you. To succeed, it has to be a conscious decision from having self-awareness. You must know what's best for you and not change that decision for outside influences. Accepting that others can have a different relationship and knowing that's OK is a revolution. The revolution that you can choose what's right for you. A lifelong commitment to yourself.
You can choose to stop drinking without having a problem. You do not need to label yourself anything or hit rock bottom to change your life for the better.
I decided to stop drinking because it was not serving me three years ago, and I will never look back. I'm happy to say I was a grey area drinker, I relied on alcohol to shift my state every evening, and binge drank when I went out. Society actively encourages a grey area drinker to drink alcohol, which is why it is so hard to stop. Those who do not feel adverse effects from alcohol can not see the issue (until your behaviour impacts their night negatively).
It's not all been rainbows and unicorns since I stopped drinking, it was hard at the start, but it has been so worth it; it's liberating not to do something because everyone else is. The journey to real self-discovery has its ups and downs, but now I enjoy the ride.
It can be hard to do this alone at the start. Changing your mindset when it is so conditioned can take time; This is why I trained to become a coach, focussing on helping people at the start of their sober journey. Sometimes we need a cheerleader supporting us from the sidelines, to have someone believe in us when we don't believe in ourselves—sharing valuable hints and tips to keep us on track and lifting us with positivity. We work on mindset together and getting to the point where you can stand proud of the choices you make.
Click on the links to find out more about how coaching can help or how to connect with the free weekly community group I host Clubhouse.
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