Confidence is Key
It’s been a while since I last updated my blog. I have been so busy, but I recognise the importance of sitting back and looking at how you feel and what’s changed over the last couple of months. It’s important to check in and hopefully raise even more money for FOJO!
I feel like every day, I grow in self confidence, not a cocky self confidence, but a self assured, self acceptance that I didn’t have before. Which is helping in all aspects of my life. I accept myself 100% (well nearly 100% there is still some work to do) for who I am, if people don’t like it? Well then, they are not my kind of people. I do not need their approval.
This challenge has never been easier. I see what I have gained not what I have lost. Even the thought of a hangover now makes me shudder! I actually had a dream the other day that I accidentally poured a drink and went to drink it and my reaction was to spit it out…not to drink it…in a dream, now that is saying something!
People keep asking me if I will ever go back to drinking…will I celebrate the end of OYNB and my charity challenge with a glass of bubbles? But the thing is, that doesn’t feel like a celebration to me any more. The thought of starting from day 1 and having to reset again is not worth the feeling of bubbles rushing through my body, as I know that it will just end up with me habitually drinking throughout the week and I do not want to be that person again. ‘Would i not be able to moderate now?’ ‘Have I not proved this to myself, after sustaining for a year?’ Well, maybe? But in all honesty, do I want to risk it when I am enjoying myself and my new found self-confidence without it?
“Each time we face our fear, we gain strength, courage, and confidence in the doing.”
— Theodora Roosevelt
I am proud of what I have achieved so far and the fact that other people have been inspired by my story. I am proud to have got people thinking about their relationship with alcohol. ‘If she can still be the first person on the dance floor, why can’t I have fun sober?’ ‘Who’s judging me apart from myself?’ ‘ Who actually gives a sh*t?’ ‘Why do I think I am so important that people actually care?’ These are all questions that I asked myself when I was ‘sober curious’ and was inspired by other people’s stories, it feels great to have people asking the same questions after watching my journey.
“Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit.”
— E E Cummings
The people who have not been so supportive (and of course, there have been some - I won’t name and shame) in my mind are the people with an alcohol problem (they may not class themselves as alcoholics, but in my mind, as I was, they are on the spectrum and I can recognise this now). I do not judge them, as that was me 9 months ago, questioning why you would ever give something up which is woven into the fabric of our society. I realise that this prejudice is often unconscious and is not said with the intension of hurting me, it is merely a reflection of themselves and how they feel.
“Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her”
— Lao Tzu
Living life in the fear the day after the night before and wasting days hungover wasn’t working for me anymore, so it was time to try something different and to put as much energy and passion into that as I had done drinking!
A few highlights from the last couple of months….
I got a new bike (I NEVER thought I would be a bike person). I have the bug. I love it. I want to cycle it every day. it feels good. I am even considering getting waterproofs to cycle in the wind and rain. I mean what? Who is this person? if you see me whizzing along the front like a silver ball bearing then please do say ‘hey!’ I have had lots of lovely comments about my disco helmet and funky electric bike.
I went to London with the girls. We went to Secret Cinema, a completely immersive experience. We became secret agents for the evening, under cover as trust fund socialites and fashionistas. This is the only photo that we have from an incredible, mind blowing evening as they lock your phone down before you enter. I don’t think that any of us could have ever imagined the scale of this event and the effort that goes into every detail of this professional production. Every corner presented something new and the actors and actresses are truly brilliant. It’s something that I will not forget (partly because we were so overwhelmed by the whole thing and looked like 3 little lost lambs for a big chunk of the evening). I want to go to more events like this, where drinking (and getting drunk) is not the focus. If anyone has any suggestions then please let me know by sending me a message on instagram! I would love to be inspired and to find lots more exciting events to go to in 2020. The next Secret Cinema is ‘Stranger things’ 80’s eat your heart out…I can’t wait!
One of the places that I wanted to visit whilst in London was the Redemption Bar. Healthy food, drinks and Alcohol Free bar. Their menu is amazing. I wish I’d had more time to try some of the drinks, but I bought the cocktail book, so will be trying some of these out next weekend at a friends party (will let you know how I get on!!). There are few people at the party not drinking, so it will be worth making the effort.
We also went to ‘visit the Mayor’ at Scaredy cat town. When you next visit London, make sure that you do this. It was great fun. All I can tell you is that you will not be eating in the main breakfast club and you may disappear through a SMEG fridge. Service and food was on point.
Weekender Festival was awesome, I chose only to go to one day this year, but I had such a brilliant day. I didn’t stop dancing from the moment I got there until the moment we left…in my warm car. I feel like my ‘I don’t care what people think confidence and change in attitude’ means that I can channel my inner child and let loose, feeling drunk on life! Let your feet go and smile, it’s strangely liberating! Highlights from the day included DUKE in the VIP area, Ella Eyre and of course the infamous Jersey DJ GRIFF, who had the whole VIP tent full. Normally I would be in and out of the VIP tent trying to make everyone happy, but this year I made a point of doing what I wanted to do, seeing what I wanted to see and it felt good. The only thing that I would say, is that they could provide a better selection of ‘grown up’ alcohol free drinks, a non alcoholic beer wouldn’t have gone a miss.
I went to MOTOWN at the Opera House with my friend Charlie. We danced like no one was watching in the isle with other free spirits.
Enjoyed the sunshine and party atmosphere with friends down at NUDE on the Beach with the Full Flow team (Mr F did a cracking job, proud wifey).
Have you been to the new Trinity Arms yet? It is great, fire pit, fairy lights, tasty food and a good AF Range. Also went a long to the Chambers opening eve and got to meet the very lovely Pat Sharp (fun house). My sober-ness really helped at this event as it was on a Monday evening. People were in two minds whether to drink or not, where as I didn’t have to make that choice. I was one of the only people on the dance floor, which says a lot, how can you resist the cheesy tunes of Pat Sharp!
Paul at the Royal Yacht, made me the most amazing Alcohol Free Cocktail in a beautiful shell, whilst my friends enjoyed a treasure chest full of every booze under the sun. It even came out with a sparkler. It was delicious and kept me going for the evening.
My other favourite place to go for an alcohol free drink has to be Project 52. Chris always goes the extra mile, ensuring that I have the same experience as my friends. We are working on an event at the moment which we will be announcing very soon, so watch this space! For now, please put Wednesday the 13th November, 6pm - 11pm in the diary, I would love for you to join me. You don’t have to stay all night and can drop in, but I can promise a lovely evening, connecting with great people and you will wake up fresh as a daisy on Thursday morning, ready for whatever life has to throw at you!
Any way, I have done quite enough rambling for today, I am sure you have things to do, so I will leave you with a photo of my cool nephew Harry. Family and friends and spending QUALITY, meaningful time together is so important.
Until next time..!